The inspiration to write always comes at the strangest times. Like now, when I'm sitting in a Chinese-themed apartment in the city centre of Bogota, Colombia. My mother is here (in the flesh!!!), and she is upstairs, having a chat with some Colombian bloke. I've already heard them switch from Spanish to Italian to French to Portugese (hello mum, you are ridiculous). Meanwhile, I am downstairs still struggling to remember which words belong in the 'Italian' and 'Spanish' colomn, and reminding myself that I will never be as talented and beautiful as her...even when I am 50-something.
It's been SO LONG since I got on this thing. With all the changes from Ecuador to the US, and then having to adjust to stadium-churches and drink out of cups that hold more liquids than my brain does, it's been kinda hectic.
Although I can't completely sum up everything that has happened since my arrival in America, I can tell you all about a game that I have been playing a lot lately. The game is join-the-dots. A couple of blogs ago, I wrote that before I was a Believer the events in my life were like a series of black dots, just kinda floating. Once I got to know God it's was like He handed me a black texta and gave me the chance to connect them all. Well, as time goes by I am realising more and more that our join-the-dots isn't just a game that He wanted us to play once: it has turned out to be a daily routine. God is showing me that if I can just keep my eyes open; if I can just stay sensitive to what's around me how He's working, the game never stops. (Thanks for making my life fun Mate, appreciate it). He is showing me the madness of how all things relate to eachother, and that He will speak through anything. Seriously, ANYTHING. He can speak through books, He can speak through other people, mate, He can even speak through a rock if He wants to...(He made it, why wouldn't He use it?) God uses everything- good, bad, gross, small, big, evil, breath-taking- EVERYTHING. He doesn't have restrictions. He doesn't have boundaries. He doesn't have a set-list of things that He can and cannot do. He doesn't watch us through binoculars, or only come and help when we need him. His prescence doesn't just sit in a gold-crusted, crystal cube in some fancy church somewhere; He doesnt live in a box. It's easy to assume that God only does things a certain way, or that there are some things that He cannot do just because we don't see them happening in front of us. But, hi, God made the first man out of dust. DUST. I can't even see dust and He freaking makes humans out of it...and that's exactly it. I can't even SEE things, but He's there, behind them all, using them to make other things.
The God who made the world and everything in it, being Lord of heaven and earth, does not live in temples made by man; He is not served by human hands as though He needed anything, since He himself gives to all mankind life and breath and everything... (Acts 17:24)
Every single day has been, and continues to be incredible. Around each corner there is something to be stimulated by; something to learn from. They havent all been happy lessons; some have been difficult, some have been annoying and others frustrating, but the bottom line is that I can feel God working and it's the best high I've ever felt... ever, ever, ever. Even the down-points make me high; I don't want to run away from the difficulties and harships, but rather turn and run towards them in complete gratitude that I know that God is with me. It's a high so intense that it makes me wonder why people waste their money on acid when they can just get high on God's love (which is free, ps). It's a high that never leaves- He's the first thing you think about when you wake up, and the last thing on your mind before you fall asleep, and every waking moment is spent craving and wanting more, more, more of His spirit that resides from somewhere deep inside of you and just makes you want to erupt and tell the world that they can get high too if they just love, love, love Him with every molecule that embodies them.
"In Him they have nothing literally, nothing in the world, but everything with and through Him." -Bonhoeffer
Well... I don't know who's love is that Ke$ha chick's drug...but I definately know who's love is mine.
Peace out homies,
Love, Cris
Monday, May 16, 2011
Saturday, March 5, 2011
'Forgive the urgency...but hurry up and wait.'
Well, thank God that's over.
Last week was probably one of the worst weeks...in a long, long time. At the risk of this blog sounding like a sympathy-spree, I won't bore you with all the intricate details, however, let's just say that in my bid to stop one crappy thing after the other crappy thing piling on top of eachother, I resorted to sulking on couch in my jahmies for 24 hours listening to all the depressing songs on my ipod. With all negatives there are positives though, and if I were going to sit here for the next 10mintues and write about how miserable life can be sometimes, it wouldn't be my blog, would it? The positive is that this week has been much better. I am now fully showered and clothed, and back to eating solids. Let me tell you about how I got back:
"Count it all joy brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds..." James 1:2
Intial thoughts? 'Pft, righteo Mate, easy for this James kid to say, what does he know?' I kept reading-
"...for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness, and let steadfastness have it's full effect so that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing." James 1:3-4
'Let steadfastness have it's full effect'.. what the eff does that mean? Somewhere between The Fray's 'Look After You', and my 12th cup of coffee, the light-bulb went off:
Well, hello dummy, He's telling you to be PATIENT.
Why was I going out of my mind to get answers to everything that was happening? All these 'trials' sure weren't planned by me..they were planned by God. He plotted them- what authority do I have to hasten their ends? My hurry to get through tribulation only deprives me of seeing how beautifully God is going to work it out for me... and makes it that much harder for me to see the lesson after all of it. If I just wait PATIENTLY until the fuzzy things become clear, aren't my perspectives on the matter so much more likely to be broadened? I felt like such an idiot in the moment that I realised how much more I'm going to be able to get out of the situation if I just let God do HIS job, and let things go from beginning to end without worrying about WHEN it's going to be over, or more importantly, HOW it's going to be over. I realised that my role in all the haze was simply just to sit down, shut-up and just let God vindicate in His own way...with His own timing.
God was telling me loud and clear: 'Cri, stop being so bloody self-centred and impatient. Cantcha see I'm tryin-a teach you something?'
Whatever obstacle/s God sets before me never come without a purpose. What do we learn from God throughout the whole Bible? He doesn't make shit happen cos He feels like it...He makes everything happen for a reason, and everything 'works together for good' (Romans 8:28). Why would I want to rush the lesson, and risk missing that reason? Even my hurt is part of God's divine plan. He won't leave me on the couch in my pijamas sulking and feeling sorry for myself...eventually He's going to get me up and show me how mind-numbingly stupid I am (oh, how I LOVE feeling like a fool!) and that He had my back the whole time...and that I stressed for nothing. A dear mate of mine once said that when she was going through a rough patch, all she did was stress her head off...time later, when God did what He does best and worked it all out for her, she felt so silly for having spent so much time worrying about when it was all going to be over. God's going to end all our trials when He's bloody-well good and ready, and there's nothing we can do about it...apart from having 'patience in tribulation' and giving the situation over to him without fighting so hard to finish it ourselves...so we can be 'perfect and complete..lacking in nothing.'
My grade 5 teacher used to say 'patience is a virtue..' I'm still not sure what that means, but after last week I believe I'm getting closer to understanding more of what James was on about...and having a greater apprecitation for The Fray:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xgdkwWdKrKM
On a different note: I write to let you guys know that my time here in Ecuador is wrapping up, and I'm off to the US in a week's time. Unfortunately Melbs in not my next stop. Some of you have been asking me about when I'm coming home- I'm sorry, but I have no idea. For now you might just have to be a little....patient.
Peace out,
Love you's,
Love, Crid.
Last week was probably one of the worst weeks...in a long, long time. At the risk of this blog sounding like a sympathy-spree, I won't bore you with all the intricate details, however, let's just say that in my bid to stop one crappy thing after the other crappy thing piling on top of eachother, I resorted to sulking on couch in my jahmies for 24 hours listening to all the depressing songs on my ipod. With all negatives there are positives though, and if I were going to sit here for the next 10mintues and write about how miserable life can be sometimes, it wouldn't be my blog, would it? The positive is that this week has been much better. I am now fully showered and clothed, and back to eating solids. Let me tell you about how I got back:
"Count it all joy brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds..." James 1:2
Intial thoughts? 'Pft, righteo Mate, easy for this James kid to say, what does he know?' I kept reading-
"...for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness, and let steadfastness have it's full effect so that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing." James 1:3-4
'Let steadfastness have it's full effect'.. what the eff does that mean? Somewhere between The Fray's 'Look After You', and my 12th cup of coffee, the light-bulb went off:
Well, hello dummy, He's telling you to be PATIENT.
Why was I going out of my mind to get answers to everything that was happening? All these 'trials' sure weren't planned by me..they were planned by God. He plotted them- what authority do I have to hasten their ends? My hurry to get through tribulation only deprives me of seeing how beautifully God is going to work it out for me... and makes it that much harder for me to see the lesson after all of it. If I just wait PATIENTLY until the fuzzy things become clear, aren't my perspectives on the matter so much more likely to be broadened? I felt like such an idiot in the moment that I realised how much more I'm going to be able to get out of the situation if I just let God do HIS job, and let things go from beginning to end without worrying about WHEN it's going to be over, or more importantly, HOW it's going to be over. I realised that my role in all the haze was simply just to sit down, shut-up and just let God vindicate in His own way...with His own timing.
God was telling me loud and clear: 'Cri, stop being so bloody self-centred and impatient. Cantcha see I'm tryin-a teach you something?'
Whatever obstacle/s God sets before me never come without a purpose. What do we learn from God throughout the whole Bible? He doesn't make shit happen cos He feels like it...He makes everything happen for a reason, and everything 'works together for good' (Romans 8:28). Why would I want to rush the lesson, and risk missing that reason? Even my hurt is part of God's divine plan. He won't leave me on the couch in my pijamas sulking and feeling sorry for myself...eventually He's going to get me up and show me how mind-numbingly stupid I am (oh, how I LOVE feeling like a fool!) and that He had my back the whole time...and that I stressed for nothing. A dear mate of mine once said that when she was going through a rough patch, all she did was stress her head off...time later, when God did what He does best and worked it all out for her, she felt so silly for having spent so much time worrying about when it was all going to be over. God's going to end all our trials when He's bloody-well good and ready, and there's nothing we can do about it...apart from having 'patience in tribulation' and giving the situation over to him without fighting so hard to finish it ourselves...so we can be 'perfect and complete..lacking in nothing.'
My grade 5 teacher used to say 'patience is a virtue..' I'm still not sure what that means, but after last week I believe I'm getting closer to understanding more of what James was on about...and having a greater apprecitation for The Fray:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xgdkwWdKrKM
On a different note: I write to let you guys know that my time here in Ecuador is wrapping up, and I'm off to the US in a week's time. Unfortunately Melbs in not my next stop. Some of you have been asking me about when I'm coming home- I'm sorry, but I have no idea. For now you might just have to be a little....patient.
Peace out,
Love you's,
Love, Crid.
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
Heads, shoulders, knees and toes.
I seriously have no idea what is happening to me, but this week I opened a door that I cannot seem to close. Evidently, that door leads to my tear-ducks. I've pretty much been crying like a la-la for the last 4 days or so. Can't stop it, don't know where it's coming from, and it's proving problematic for the people that I have to line up next to in the supermarket, or for the taxi drivers that have to drive me around.
I figure it probably has a lot to do with the amazingly magical week I just had. I went on a little trip to a country called Nicaragua (I told you to Google it..) to work as a translator for a medical clinic run by a group of Americans that I got to meet up with. Our team consisted of about 30 people- this included doctors, nurses, pharmacists, eye-specialists, as well as teachers and translators.. and more people a whole lot smarter than me. We would go out every day to a different village with a whole bunch of medicines and people would travel to see our doctors and get their hands on some medicine...for free.
Working with such an talented group of people really had me thinking about the importance of team-work. Every single person that was involved in last week's trip had an important role to play. It's easy to assume that the doctors and nurses were more important than the teachers playing games with the kiddies, or the translators (or the singers..ahem), but God really proved that each person's role was vital in achieving what we needed to achieve and for us to work in perfect harmony. It's funny cos just the week before I had been flipping through my Bible, and came across a chapter in the book of 1 Corinthians that talks about 'the body of Christ.' Here's what is says:
"For the body does not consist of one member but of many. If the foot should say, 'because I am not a hand, I do not belong to the body' that would not make it any less a part of the body. And if the ear should say 'because I am not an eye, I do not belong to the body' that would not make it any less a part of the body. For, if the whole body were an eye, where would be it's sense of hearing? And if the whole body were an ear, where would be it's sense of smell?" - 1 Corinthians 12: 14-18
When I think about my body (like my human body, body) it's true that no part of it is more important than the other. Like, if I had 4 arms, sure, it would be awesome that I would get to play a piano and a guitar at the same time but how would I walk? If I had 4 legs I'd probably be able to run really fast, but then you people would have to carry all my stuff for me. Hence, no body part of mine is more important than the other- each serve a purpose and each of them are needed- very much like every person I worked with last week. If the doctors didn't have pharmacists disributing meds, then what would be the purpose of their prescriptions? If the teachers and kiddie-minders weren't there to look after the children we would have had 300 unattended rugrats running a muck and hindering our work pace...and so forth.
When I take this verse and apply it on a wider scale, it makes me think of how each one of us plays such an important role on this planet. It's like every one of us is one of God's limbs, and he uses us in individual and unique ways. None of us is more significant than the other- we all have a function, and we all need to work together to live harmoniously... like we're ONE BODY.
"God arranged the members in the body, each one of them as he chose. If all were a single member, where would the body be?" - 1 Corinthians 12: 18,19
God's organisational skills never cease to amaze me.
Love you guys,
Love, Cris.
PS, Americans think that it's weird that we call it 'chewy'. I don't get it... IT JUST MAKES SENSE.
I figure it probably has a lot to do with the amazingly magical week I just had. I went on a little trip to a country called Nicaragua (I told you to Google it..) to work as a translator for a medical clinic run by a group of Americans that I got to meet up with. Our team consisted of about 30 people- this included doctors, nurses, pharmacists, eye-specialists, as well as teachers and translators.. and more people a whole lot smarter than me. We would go out every day to a different village with a whole bunch of medicines and people would travel to see our doctors and get their hands on some medicine...for free.
Working with such an talented group of people really had me thinking about the importance of team-work. Every single person that was involved in last week's trip had an important role to play. It's easy to assume that the doctors and nurses were more important than the teachers playing games with the kiddies, or the translators (or the singers..ahem), but God really proved that each person's role was vital in achieving what we needed to achieve and for us to work in perfect harmony. It's funny cos just the week before I had been flipping through my Bible, and came across a chapter in the book of 1 Corinthians that talks about 'the body of Christ.' Here's what is says:
"For the body does not consist of one member but of many. If the foot should say, 'because I am not a hand, I do not belong to the body' that would not make it any less a part of the body. And if the ear should say 'because I am not an eye, I do not belong to the body' that would not make it any less a part of the body. For, if the whole body were an eye, where would be it's sense of hearing? And if the whole body were an ear, where would be it's sense of smell?" - 1 Corinthians 12: 14-18
When I think about my body (like my human body, body) it's true that no part of it is more important than the other. Like, if I had 4 arms, sure, it would be awesome that I would get to play a piano and a guitar at the same time but how would I walk? If I had 4 legs I'd probably be able to run really fast, but then you people would have to carry all my stuff for me. Hence, no body part of mine is more important than the other- each serve a purpose and each of them are needed- very much like every person I worked with last week. If the doctors didn't have pharmacists disributing meds, then what would be the purpose of their prescriptions? If the teachers and kiddie-minders weren't there to look after the children we would have had 300 unattended rugrats running a muck and hindering our work pace...and so forth.
When I take this verse and apply it on a wider scale, it makes me think of how each one of us plays such an important role on this planet. It's like every one of us is one of God's limbs, and he uses us in individual and unique ways. None of us is more significant than the other- we all have a function, and we all need to work together to live harmoniously... like we're ONE BODY.
"God arranged the members in the body, each one of them as he chose. If all were a single member, where would the body be?" - 1 Corinthians 12: 18,19
God's organisational skills never cease to amaze me.
Love you guys,
Love, Cris.
PS, Americans think that it's weird that we call it 'chewy'. I don't get it... IT JUST MAKES SENSE.
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
Don't go chasing waterfalls...
Wow, okay guys, it's been almost 2months since my last post...how'd that happen?
I'm sorry I've been shitty at keeping in touch, the truth is that things really haven't stopped here since just before Christmas. I've been working a lot and travelling more than usual (well you know, more than a normal person should anyway..) I'm actually getting ready to travel again this Saturday to a country called Nicaragua (just google it). I'll be there for a week helping translate in hospitals for a group of doctors and smart people that are coming over from the US. Rapidly becoming an expert in suitcase-packing, that's for sure.
Not much else to report- work in Santo Domingo has been steady. The special school I was working with has now closed for holidays, so we've been doing a lot more in Laura Flores. Mate, I just love those children, they are such a head-ache but I love them more for it. God has shown me that I am actually not bad and entertaining large groups of kids- after a couple of hours everyone is exhausted but I seem to feel energised..weird, but hey, someone has to love singing to 150 screaming ankle-biters. I love that they're so free and curious, it's wonderful. (Note: I am not ready for children, just ready to look after other people's for a couple of hours, after which I can go home to peace and silence...just for the record.)
On the down-side, this week has been a pretty hard as far as saying good-bye goes. I said good-bye to my Ecuadorian family last Saturday as they moved down to another city, as well as a good friend who moved with them, and just today I had to say good-bye to my mate Lydia as she left to go home to the UK. Blah, crappy feelings, however it's nice to have the certainty that even though you may not get the opportunity to see people again in this life, you will see them eventually 'up-there'... you know, like when we're all chilling with Jesus and the waterfalls and all the other awesome stuff that we can't even fathom now. How wonderful it is to have that certainty.
It's easy to convince yourself that 'you're a traveller, and good-bye doesn't effect you' but it proves hard to part with people when you manage to create such strong bonds with them. I've really been thinking about how good God is for surrounding me with so many amazing people and how blessed I am that He is able to show His love for me through these people. I've crossed paths with some pretty amazing characters in my life so far, and even though some of them might have only been there for a split second, God has used every person and every little situation to teach me something. Then of course, there are the people that are a little more permanent, who teach me and support me everyday. I thought about these important people, the ones that mean the most, and it made me ask myself- what did I do to deserve these people's love? It doesn't matter that I'm annoying, or abnoxious, or ignorant, they love me anyway. I don't have to ask them to love me, I don't have to do anything for them to love me, and I definately don't have to pay them to love me- they just do and it's FREE. I read this today-
Come, everyone who thirsts,
come to the waters;
and he who has no money,
come, buy and eat!
Come, buy wine and milk,
without money and without price.
Isaiah 55:1
We thirst for love, and we're hungry for love. God invites us 'to the waters' 'to buy wine and milk'...'without money and without price.' People love us for free...because God loves us for free. ..why are we so accustomed into believeing that we have to work for everything? Why it is so hard for us to accept that love, especially God's love, comes without a price? He shows me this foremostly by surrounding me with so many people to love in my life..how much more does He have to do to prove it? It doesn't matter how annoying, or abnoxious, or ignorant I am- my mum is still going to love me; my best mate is still going to love me....and above all, God is still going to love me.
That's pretty effing awesome.
I look forward to the day when I will be to have all the people I love in the same room at the one time. Although I fully believe that 'nothing is impossible with God', I accept that this proves slightly difficult in this life as they are spread over um...well, 4 continents... That's a tough prayer, right there. God's got my back though, He hears me. I might just have to wait until the waterfalls...
Just before I go, praying for all of you that might be living or have family up in QLD, or that might have been affected by the floods after New Years.. My heart goes out to you Australia, it's been a tough couple of months.
Miss you yobbo's...
Love,
Cris
I'm sorry I've been shitty at keeping in touch, the truth is that things really haven't stopped here since just before Christmas. I've been working a lot and travelling more than usual (well you know, more than a normal person should anyway..) I'm actually getting ready to travel again this Saturday to a country called Nicaragua (just google it). I'll be there for a week helping translate in hospitals for a group of doctors and smart people that are coming over from the US. Rapidly becoming an expert in suitcase-packing, that's for sure.
Not much else to report- work in Santo Domingo has been steady. The special school I was working with has now closed for holidays, so we've been doing a lot more in Laura Flores. Mate, I just love those children, they are such a head-ache but I love them more for it. God has shown me that I am actually not bad and entertaining large groups of kids- after a couple of hours everyone is exhausted but I seem to feel energised..weird, but hey, someone has to love singing to 150 screaming ankle-biters. I love that they're so free and curious, it's wonderful. (Note: I am not ready for children, just ready to look after other people's for a couple of hours, after which I can go home to peace and silence...just for the record.)
On the down-side, this week has been a pretty hard as far as saying good-bye goes. I said good-bye to my Ecuadorian family last Saturday as they moved down to another city, as well as a good friend who moved with them, and just today I had to say good-bye to my mate Lydia as she left to go home to the UK. Blah, crappy feelings, however it's nice to have the certainty that even though you may not get the opportunity to see people again in this life, you will see them eventually 'up-there'... you know, like when we're all chilling with Jesus and the waterfalls and all the other awesome stuff that we can't even fathom now. How wonderful it is to have that certainty.
It's easy to convince yourself that 'you're a traveller, and good-bye doesn't effect you' but it proves hard to part with people when you manage to create such strong bonds with them. I've really been thinking about how good God is for surrounding me with so many amazing people and how blessed I am that He is able to show His love for me through these people. I've crossed paths with some pretty amazing characters in my life so far, and even though some of them might have only been there for a split second, God has used every person and every little situation to teach me something. Then of course, there are the people that are a little more permanent, who teach me and support me everyday. I thought about these important people, the ones that mean the most, and it made me ask myself- what did I do to deserve these people's love? It doesn't matter that I'm annoying, or abnoxious, or ignorant, they love me anyway. I don't have to ask them to love me, I don't have to do anything for them to love me, and I definately don't have to pay them to love me- they just do and it's FREE. I read this today-
Come, everyone who thirsts,
come to the waters;
and he who has no money,
come, buy and eat!
Come, buy wine and milk,
without money and without price.
Isaiah 55:1
We thirst for love, and we're hungry for love. God invites us 'to the waters' 'to buy wine and milk'...'without money and without price.' People love us for free...because God loves us for free. ..why are we so accustomed into believeing that we have to work for everything? Why it is so hard for us to accept that love, especially God's love, comes without a price? He shows me this foremostly by surrounding me with so many people to love in my life..how much more does He have to do to prove it? It doesn't matter how annoying, or abnoxious, or ignorant I am- my mum is still going to love me; my best mate is still going to love me....and above all, God is still going to love me.
That's pretty effing awesome.
I look forward to the day when I will be to have all the people I love in the same room at the one time. Although I fully believe that 'nothing is impossible with God', I accept that this proves slightly difficult in this life as they are spread over um...well, 4 continents... That's a tough prayer, right there. God's got my back though, He hears me. I might just have to wait until the waterfalls...
Just before I go, praying for all of you that might be living or have family up in QLD, or that might have been affected by the floods after New Years.. My heart goes out to you Australia, it's been a tough couple of months.
Miss you yobbo's...
Love,
Cris
Tuesday, November 30, 2010
The power of thought.
I headed down to Laura Flores a few days ago to help my friend Lydia. She is an occupational therapist from England and has been a missionary in Santo Domingo for almost a year now. She gives free therapy to the children at the school we work in, and also gives some private home sessions to a few kids around the neighbourhood and in Laura Flores.
I went out to help her give a session to a beautiful little girl called Natalie. Natalie lives in Laura Flores with her mother and 3 older sisters. She has cerebral palsy. Natalie is unable to walk and spends her days lying down on a mat in the middle of the hut built out of stone slabs that her family of 5 women call their home. She can't stand up; she can't sit- she can only roll over from her back to her tummy on the stone floor. Day in and day out she watches her 3 older sisters run around with the other kids on the block through the arch cut out of the wall that they refer to as their front door.
Lydia had me help her out in the session with Natalie. I was to put preassure on Natalie's hips while Lydia would gradually extend her legs outwards and inwards to exercise the rigid muscles in her frail little legs. I couldn't hold back the tears; the scene was heart-breaking. Her tiny body seemed so fragile; all I could think of was how much we must've been hurting her, without her even being able to let us know if we were due to her inability to speak. However, Lydia assured me that if sweet Natalie were in any pain we would see it in her face, so that made me feel a little better about the fact that us- two foreign looking strangers in this little girls eyes- were prodding around with her limbs.
That afternoon really made me have appreciation for what Lydia does. I mean, I admired her already, but to see her in action, and to experience a taste of what she has to go through everyday to help the people here in Santo Domingo that she wants to reach out to just makes me so thankful that the world has people like her. Every soul makes a difference.
This week has been up and down, emotionally. Acutally, thinking back on my time here so far, it has been very emotional, period. I find myself crying A LOT- not necesarrily because I'm sad, but because God does some crazy shit sometimes. Most of the time it's a mixed feeling between wanting to cry a freaking river and wet myself laughing at the same time. I end up doing both which proves quite problematic for the people around me ("Is she crying?" No, I think she's laughing...oh, who knows.."). The people that I have met, and some of the things that I have experienced so far show just how gracious God can be, even to the people that are struggling in life.. It's so amazing that people that have so little can live out of so much faith and can continue to turn to God without cursing the lives that they have been handed. If only the people that had so much could do the same. Argh, it's so frustrating being the one who knows the contrast. The contrast between 'rich' and 'poor', I mean. Even though you are aware that you are here helping people and making a (tiny) difference (hopefully), sometimes the feeling can be even worse knowing that 1, you cannot help all of them, 2, you can only help them for a short amount of time, which in the bigger scheme of things doesn't enable them to make much progress, and 3, virtually every single person you know could be helping a person less fortunate then themselves but most of them choose not to.
Everyday in this life there is something to cry about; something for your heart to break over. Some days are really tough. But, hey, that's easy for me to say- I get to get on a plane in a few months and leave it all. My position is the easy one. That's what's the hardest to face- the fact that the people that I am meeting have no choice...and I do. I was blessed with the choice to be here or not- they weren't. Years from now when I have a family of my own to look after, chances are that we will have a roof over our heads and beds to sleep in at night. I will live in a place with 4 walls and a front door, and I'll have something to eat for breakfast when I wake up in the morning. Then, maybe as I'm reading the newspaper over my coffee (cos I'll be old enough to do that then) I will stumble across an article about people dying of hunger, or people living in really poor conditions...and I'll think about places like Laura Flores. I'll think about all the children I'm meeting and how by that time they will either have 10 children of their own, or be in jail, or would have already died because of mal-nutrition or some diease that could have been cured with simple an antbiotic that would have been unattainable to them.
Even when your called to help, sometimes you cannot help feeling helpless.
On the other hand though, some days are great- like today. I got to go and hang out with my beloved OrphAids kids- oh my goodness, I just love them so much I want to put them all on a plane and adopt them and be on the news: 'CRAZY 20 YEAR OLD ADOPTS 15 ECUADORIAN CHILDREN IMPULSIVELY WITHOUT THINKING ABOUT THE CONSEQUENCES'. They are just SO amazing, I wish that all of you could meet them.
Things are also going really well with the school kids- Geovany and I are making a (mini) traffic light in class. We were both so excited today that we got our two lights working- we assembled everything from scratch. Geovany was happy that he was able to accomplish something 'hands-on'. On the other hand, I was over-joyed to be able to excerise my electrical skills without the presence of a bloke. I am one step closer to being an electrician.
Just one more thing for those of you praying out there- please pray for my friend Diego. He is struggling with life at the moment, and has started asking some sweet questions about 'life as a Believer'. Please pray for his spiritual journey.
Also, please pray for my dreams. I'm having a really strange re-occuring dream that I'm singing to young girls in a rehab centre...it's strange. Please pray for God to give me clarity if He is trying to show me something.
For the rest of you, just one request- please take as little as 2 minutes out of your morning or evening to think about the people that I'm mentioning in my blogs once in a while. Maybe just a thought- even from all the way across the world, in a land that they don't even know exists, and from people that they can't even imagine are living- is what they need to put a smile on their faces. The power of the mind is bigger than we can imagine- God might use your little thought to brighten their day, even without them necesarrily knowing it.
In love and peace,
Crissi
I went out to help her give a session to a beautiful little girl called Natalie. Natalie lives in Laura Flores with her mother and 3 older sisters. She has cerebral palsy. Natalie is unable to walk and spends her days lying down on a mat in the middle of the hut built out of stone slabs that her family of 5 women call their home. She can't stand up; she can't sit- she can only roll over from her back to her tummy on the stone floor. Day in and day out she watches her 3 older sisters run around with the other kids on the block through the arch cut out of the wall that they refer to as their front door.
Lydia had me help her out in the session with Natalie. I was to put preassure on Natalie's hips while Lydia would gradually extend her legs outwards and inwards to exercise the rigid muscles in her frail little legs. I couldn't hold back the tears; the scene was heart-breaking. Her tiny body seemed so fragile; all I could think of was how much we must've been hurting her, without her even being able to let us know if we were due to her inability to speak. However, Lydia assured me that if sweet Natalie were in any pain we would see it in her face, so that made me feel a little better about the fact that us- two foreign looking strangers in this little girls eyes- were prodding around with her limbs.
That afternoon really made me have appreciation for what Lydia does. I mean, I admired her already, but to see her in action, and to experience a taste of what she has to go through everyday to help the people here in Santo Domingo that she wants to reach out to just makes me so thankful that the world has people like her. Every soul makes a difference.
This week has been up and down, emotionally. Acutally, thinking back on my time here so far, it has been very emotional, period. I find myself crying A LOT- not necesarrily because I'm sad, but because God does some crazy shit sometimes. Most of the time it's a mixed feeling between wanting to cry a freaking river and wet myself laughing at the same time. I end up doing both which proves quite problematic for the people around me ("Is she crying?" No, I think she's laughing...oh, who knows.."). The people that I have met, and some of the things that I have experienced so far show just how gracious God can be, even to the people that are struggling in life.. It's so amazing that people that have so little can live out of so much faith and can continue to turn to God without cursing the lives that they have been handed. If only the people that had so much could do the same. Argh, it's so frustrating being the one who knows the contrast. The contrast between 'rich' and 'poor', I mean. Even though you are aware that you are here helping people and making a (tiny) difference (hopefully), sometimes the feeling can be even worse knowing that 1, you cannot help all of them, 2, you can only help them for a short amount of time, which in the bigger scheme of things doesn't enable them to make much progress, and 3, virtually every single person you know could be helping a person less fortunate then themselves but most of them choose not to.
Everyday in this life there is something to cry about; something for your heart to break over. Some days are really tough. But, hey, that's easy for me to say- I get to get on a plane in a few months and leave it all. My position is the easy one. That's what's the hardest to face- the fact that the people that I am meeting have no choice...and I do. I was blessed with the choice to be here or not- they weren't. Years from now when I have a family of my own to look after, chances are that we will have a roof over our heads and beds to sleep in at night. I will live in a place with 4 walls and a front door, and I'll have something to eat for breakfast when I wake up in the morning. Then, maybe as I'm reading the newspaper over my coffee (cos I'll be old enough to do that then) I will stumble across an article about people dying of hunger, or people living in really poor conditions...and I'll think about places like Laura Flores. I'll think about all the children I'm meeting and how by that time they will either have 10 children of their own, or be in jail, or would have already died because of mal-nutrition or some diease that could have been cured with simple an antbiotic that would have been unattainable to them.
Even when your called to help, sometimes you cannot help feeling helpless.
On the other hand though, some days are great- like today. I got to go and hang out with my beloved OrphAids kids- oh my goodness, I just love them so much I want to put them all on a plane and adopt them and be on the news: 'CRAZY 20 YEAR OLD ADOPTS 15 ECUADORIAN CHILDREN IMPULSIVELY WITHOUT THINKING ABOUT THE CONSEQUENCES'. They are just SO amazing, I wish that all of you could meet them.
Things are also going really well with the school kids- Geovany and I are making a (mini) traffic light in class. We were both so excited today that we got our two lights working- we assembled everything from scratch. Geovany was happy that he was able to accomplish something 'hands-on'. On the other hand, I was over-joyed to be able to excerise my electrical skills without the presence of a bloke. I am one step closer to being an electrician.
Just one more thing for those of you praying out there- please pray for my friend Diego. He is struggling with life at the moment, and has started asking some sweet questions about 'life as a Believer'. Please pray for his spiritual journey.
Also, please pray for my dreams. I'm having a really strange re-occuring dream that I'm singing to young girls in a rehab centre...it's strange. Please pray for God to give me clarity if He is trying to show me something.
For the rest of you, just one request- please take as little as 2 minutes out of your morning or evening to think about the people that I'm mentioning in my blogs once in a while. Maybe just a thought- even from all the way across the world, in a land that they don't even know exists, and from people that they can't even imagine are living- is what they need to put a smile on their faces. The power of the mind is bigger than we can imagine- God might use your little thought to brighten their day, even without them necesarrily knowing it.
In love and peace,
Crissi
Thursday, November 25, 2010
My unfathomable question.
I've grown quite a bond with two beautiful brothers that go to the school that I've been working with. Their names are Miguel and Geovany. They both have severe learning difficulties- Miguel can barely read at the age of 14, and Geovany still gets confused between 'yellow' and 'orange'. He's 12. The boys come from a very poor family- their parents day-job is selling freshly squeezed orange juice at the park for 30cents a cup. Imagine if on a rainy day they only sell 4 cups a day? That's $1.20 income to feed themselves and 4 children- Miguel, Geovany, their older sister and their younger brother. Obviously getting a proper primary education is not high on the list of priorities when you're struggling to feed a family of 6. However, not long ago they were a family of 7. Miguel and Geovany had another older sister who was 18. She was murdered here in Santo Domingo a few months back. She left to go out with her mates one night and never came back. Her body was found a couple of weeks later.
Imagine if something like this were to happen to an Aussie family? I mean, I'm sure that it has. I'm also sure that whichever family member was lost, there was a memorial service of some kind. Councelling would have been provided for the rest of the family, and parents and siblings would have been granted time off work/school to grieve for their loss. Not here in Santo Domingo. Things like this happen quite frequently apparently. Most of the time there is no good-bye service, there is no tomb-stone and there are no endless arrays of flowers and funeral songs. The sun goes down and comes back up the morning, as if nothing has happened. There is no leave from work- it's back to selling juice in the park the next day. No time to process; no time to reflect; no time to grieve. Life must continue as normal to provide for the rest of the family. Life must go on.
Hearing about stuff like this provokes me to pose the unfathomable question: If God is so wonderful and loving, why do people suffer?
Ah well, here it is. I'm sure you knew it was coming...
The first and foremost thing to remember is that I cannot provide you with a straight answer to this question because I simply do not know- '..then I saw all the work of God, that man cannot find out the work that is done under the sun. However much man may toil in seeking, he will not find it out. Even though a wise man claims to know, he cannot find it out...' (Ecclesiastes 8:17)
God's ways are so super-duper-ridiculously and frustratingly higher than anything that we can comprehend. We cannot understand what He does and why He does it. We can question His ways all we like- we can battle with Him to give us a reason, an explanation for why things happen- but it's no use. No Christian, nor scientist, nor happy hippie living in the hills of Spain can give an accurate answer.
The Bible tells us that is that suffering is the result of human sin. The world is not as it was intended to be. We were the ones to screw it up- no one is innocent, therefore every single person on the planet is vulnerable to suffering- 'for ALL have sinned and ALL fall short of the glory of God.' (Romans 3:23).
Also, God may be letting evil run it's course to prove that by not abiding by His word, or doing things contrary to His will is harmful to us?
Well, though these answers provide a response that's accurate in relation to scripture, they don't really comfort us emotionally, do they? I mean, can we find comfort in the fact that Miguel and Geovany's sister was brutally killed because the Bible says that we are all worthy of suffering? Not at all. However, maybe you will find some comfort in something that God taught me though my own personal experience:
My life is wonderful, it really is. However, it has taken me a lot to get to where I am now. I've had to live through a lot for a 20-year-old- including the death of a parent. Looking back on the last 6 years, God has taught me how much positive can come from an experience so negative. Not just taught me, He has SHOWN ME through certain events that have happened in my life since the death of my father. I can SEE IT with my EYES. Once you are able to see positive effects come out of a painful event in your past it's harder to resent it. Not that I'm trying to say that 'I'm glad my dad is dead'-that's not it at all. What I'm trying to say is that I can see how God used such a dark phase of my adolensence to bring about so many positive things that are happening today. Before I knew God, it was as if all the events in my life were just tiny dots randomly spread about on a huge piece of paper, starting from the biggest spot that is my dad's death. When I became a Believer, God handed me a black marker and helped me connect them all into a wonderful pattern that leads me to where I am now. Lesson learned: God used the BAD in my life to bring GOOD.
How easy would it be for ME to be angry at God? How easy would it be for me to say- 'Screw you God,- you left me dad-less.'? How easy would it be for me to dwell on the negative? We have become so accustomed to looking at the bad that we usually don't see the good. It's like that old saying- 'When one door closes, another door opens. We are usually too fixed upon the closing door that we cease to see the one that has opened for us.'......We are so accustomed to complain. We think that everything is crap, and we continuously pose the same questions- 'If God loves everyone, why do people get raped? If God loves everyone why do innocent little children get hurt? If God loves ME, then why did this happen?'
No one knows. But give Him a chance to show you why once in a while.
You may be thinking- "Okay, so maybe God uses good to do bad, I can get that. But why doesn't He just stop all the suffering in the world so that we can all get by like happy little teapots? It's not fair!" You want God to change all the bad shit in the world? Are you willing to change yourself first? Are you a wonderul, all-loving, always-righteous person? Are you FAIR to everyone that you meet, in your actions and in your mind? No? Me either.
"What causes quarrels and fights amongst you? Is it not this, that your passions are at war within you? You desire and do not have, so you murder. You covet and cannot obtain, so you fight and quarrel.." (James 4:1)
All because we don't get things our way we think badly of one another, scream profanities at one another, place hands on one another, turn evil against one another. Evil is evil whether it is thought of or physically carried out. So, If God were to put a STOP to ALL evil, wouldn't that mean that He would be controlling our thoughts? And by controlling our thoughts, wouldn't that take away our freedom of will?
God gives and gives and gives, we take take take, and then we question why when something doesn't go our way. God probably never intended to have to use our suffering to show His grace, but because of the mega-ways that we have-excuse the French- completely fucked things up in the world, He does. Wouldn't it have been easy for Him to just say 'Nah man, screw this, what a pack of dick-heads those humans are, I'm getting out of here..'? Further, most of the time we are too self-absorbed to believe that there's a slight chance that we actually might be accountable for what happens. My dad smoked more than a packet a day of Marlboro reds since he was 19. When he was 45 he had a heart-attack. No offence (to me, I guess) but only one word comes to mind when I do that math... OBVIOUSLY.
No matter how much you love God, you are going to suffer. Take it from me- I read the Bible everyday and think about God more than I think about anything else, but my life isn't perfect. People see/hear about me going here, and going there; doing this and doing that- I get that's it's difficult to buy that being me isn't just one big party. Don't get me wrong, I am so fortunate to have been blessed with the opportunities to have been the places I have been and to be doing the things that I'm doing- but it's not always easy. Everyday is a challenge. Though my healing process has rapidly increased since finding God, I still struggle as I grieve the loss of my father. Most days are good, but some days are really bad. Some mornings I have to curl up in a ball on the floor of the bathroom and cry for 10minutes to take the edge off and release some emotion. As I grow older, and as I grow closer to God, these days aren't so frequent. But yeah, God and I have fights about it. I scream a little and tell Him that He's an asshole. But you know what? I get through it. I get through it because He WANTS me to get through it-
"No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation He will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it." (1 Corinthians 10:13)
Did God give me more than I could handle and then just piss off? Nope. Is there anything that He has handed YOU in your life that you have not lived through? Well no doofus, otherwise you would not be reading this. I'm sure that you have hurt, and I'm sure that you have struggled, and I'm sure that you think that life is a big bull-shit joke most of the time. Guess what? Me too. But God hasn't given me anything that I have not lived through yet, and even in everything that has occured, He has been there to guide me and lead me on the path of healing; lead me to the 'way of escape', because...GOD IS FAITHFUL.
"There are times when you choose to believe in something that would normally be considered irrational. It doesn't mean that it acutally IS irrational, but it surely is not rational."
If you are currently grieveing or suffering, I am sorry, and I hope that you can share in the hope that I was able to share in, even after what I have lost in my life. I know how it feels to hate God, I really really do. I can't tell you why bad things happen, but I can tell you through personal experience, that something bigger and better will come out of whatever negative process you are enduring. You may not see it right away- it took God 5 years to show me how He'd worked things out. It may take ages for you to put pieces together. He might not even show you while you're in this life- maybe He'll show you when we're up 'there'- 'chillin' with Jesus.' I still question many things that happen- like what happened to Miguel and Geovany's sister. It's hard for me to see what good can come out of that situation for that family. But believing in God is not based on anything 'rational', it's based on having faith- 'Faith is the assurance of things HOPED for; the conviction of things unseen' (Hebrews 11:1)- and I have FAITH. Faith that everything that happens 'happens for a reason'. With every mollecule that makes up my insides and outsides, I believe that God is going to bring sunshine after every storm. How can one expect to see the grace and glory of God if he doesn't fully believe that it's there? How can people expect to have their prayers answered when they don't have faith in the power of God in the first place?
That's my unfathomable question, really.
"He will wipe every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall their be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away." Revalation 21:4
Peace and Love,
Crissi
Imagine if something like this were to happen to an Aussie family? I mean, I'm sure that it has. I'm also sure that whichever family member was lost, there was a memorial service of some kind. Councelling would have been provided for the rest of the family, and parents and siblings would have been granted time off work/school to grieve for their loss. Not here in Santo Domingo. Things like this happen quite frequently apparently. Most of the time there is no good-bye service, there is no tomb-stone and there are no endless arrays of flowers and funeral songs. The sun goes down and comes back up the morning, as if nothing has happened. There is no leave from work- it's back to selling juice in the park the next day. No time to process; no time to reflect; no time to grieve. Life must continue as normal to provide for the rest of the family. Life must go on.
Hearing about stuff like this provokes me to pose the unfathomable question: If God is so wonderful and loving, why do people suffer?
Ah well, here it is. I'm sure you knew it was coming...
The first and foremost thing to remember is that I cannot provide you with a straight answer to this question because I simply do not know- '..then I saw all the work of God, that man cannot find out the work that is done under the sun. However much man may toil in seeking, he will not find it out. Even though a wise man claims to know, he cannot find it out...' (Ecclesiastes 8:17)
God's ways are so super-duper-ridiculously and frustratingly higher than anything that we can comprehend. We cannot understand what He does and why He does it. We can question His ways all we like- we can battle with Him to give us a reason, an explanation for why things happen- but it's no use. No Christian, nor scientist, nor happy hippie living in the hills of Spain can give an accurate answer.
The Bible tells us that is that suffering is the result of human sin. The world is not as it was intended to be. We were the ones to screw it up- no one is innocent, therefore every single person on the planet is vulnerable to suffering- 'for ALL have sinned and ALL fall short of the glory of God.' (Romans 3:23).
Also, God may be letting evil run it's course to prove that by not abiding by His word, or doing things contrary to His will is harmful to us?
Well, though these answers provide a response that's accurate in relation to scripture, they don't really comfort us emotionally, do they? I mean, can we find comfort in the fact that Miguel and Geovany's sister was brutally killed because the Bible says that we are all worthy of suffering? Not at all. However, maybe you will find some comfort in something that God taught me though my own personal experience:
My life is wonderful, it really is. However, it has taken me a lot to get to where I am now. I've had to live through a lot for a 20-year-old- including the death of a parent. Looking back on the last 6 years, God has taught me how much positive can come from an experience so negative. Not just taught me, He has SHOWN ME through certain events that have happened in my life since the death of my father. I can SEE IT with my EYES. Once you are able to see positive effects come out of a painful event in your past it's harder to resent it. Not that I'm trying to say that 'I'm glad my dad is dead'-that's not it at all. What I'm trying to say is that I can see how God used such a dark phase of my adolensence to bring about so many positive things that are happening today. Before I knew God, it was as if all the events in my life were just tiny dots randomly spread about on a huge piece of paper, starting from the biggest spot that is my dad's death. When I became a Believer, God handed me a black marker and helped me connect them all into a wonderful pattern that leads me to where I am now. Lesson learned: God used the BAD in my life to bring GOOD.
How easy would it be for ME to be angry at God? How easy would it be for me to say- 'Screw you God,- you left me dad-less.'? How easy would it be for me to dwell on the negative? We have become so accustomed to looking at the bad that we usually don't see the good. It's like that old saying- 'When one door closes, another door opens. We are usually too fixed upon the closing door that we cease to see the one that has opened for us.'......We are so accustomed to complain. We think that everything is crap, and we continuously pose the same questions- 'If God loves everyone, why do people get raped? If God loves everyone why do innocent little children get hurt? If God loves ME, then why did this happen?'
No one knows. But give Him a chance to show you why once in a while.
You may be thinking- "Okay, so maybe God uses good to do bad, I can get that. But why doesn't He just stop all the suffering in the world so that we can all get by like happy little teapots? It's not fair!" You want God to change all the bad shit in the world? Are you willing to change yourself first? Are you a wonderul, all-loving, always-righteous person? Are you FAIR to everyone that you meet, in your actions and in your mind? No? Me either.
"What causes quarrels and fights amongst you? Is it not this, that your passions are at war within you? You desire and do not have, so you murder. You covet and cannot obtain, so you fight and quarrel.." (James 4:1)
All because we don't get things our way we think badly of one another, scream profanities at one another, place hands on one another, turn evil against one another. Evil is evil whether it is thought of or physically carried out. So, If God were to put a STOP to ALL evil, wouldn't that mean that He would be controlling our thoughts? And by controlling our thoughts, wouldn't that take away our freedom of will?
God gives and gives and gives, we take take take, and then we question why when something doesn't go our way. God probably never intended to have to use our suffering to show His grace, but because of the mega-ways that we have-excuse the French- completely fucked things up in the world, He does. Wouldn't it have been easy for Him to just say 'Nah man, screw this, what a pack of dick-heads those humans are, I'm getting out of here..'? Further, most of the time we are too self-absorbed to believe that there's a slight chance that we actually might be accountable for what happens. My dad smoked more than a packet a day of Marlboro reds since he was 19. When he was 45 he had a heart-attack. No offence (to me, I guess) but only one word comes to mind when I do that math... OBVIOUSLY.
No matter how much you love God, you are going to suffer. Take it from me- I read the Bible everyday and think about God more than I think about anything else, but my life isn't perfect. People see/hear about me going here, and going there; doing this and doing that- I get that's it's difficult to buy that being me isn't just one big party. Don't get me wrong, I am so fortunate to have been blessed with the opportunities to have been the places I have been and to be doing the things that I'm doing- but it's not always easy. Everyday is a challenge. Though my healing process has rapidly increased since finding God, I still struggle as I grieve the loss of my father. Most days are good, but some days are really bad. Some mornings I have to curl up in a ball on the floor of the bathroom and cry for 10minutes to take the edge off and release some emotion. As I grow older, and as I grow closer to God, these days aren't so frequent. But yeah, God and I have fights about it. I scream a little and tell Him that He's an asshole. But you know what? I get through it. I get through it because He WANTS me to get through it-
"No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation He will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it." (1 Corinthians 10:13)
Did God give me more than I could handle and then just piss off? Nope. Is there anything that He has handed YOU in your life that you have not lived through? Well no doofus, otherwise you would not be reading this. I'm sure that you have hurt, and I'm sure that you have struggled, and I'm sure that you think that life is a big bull-shit joke most of the time. Guess what? Me too. But God hasn't given me anything that I have not lived through yet, and even in everything that has occured, He has been there to guide me and lead me on the path of healing; lead me to the 'way of escape', because...GOD IS FAITHFUL.
"There are times when you choose to believe in something that would normally be considered irrational. It doesn't mean that it acutally IS irrational, but it surely is not rational."
If you are currently grieveing or suffering, I am sorry, and I hope that you can share in the hope that I was able to share in, even after what I have lost in my life. I know how it feels to hate God, I really really do. I can't tell you why bad things happen, but I can tell you through personal experience, that something bigger and better will come out of whatever negative process you are enduring. You may not see it right away- it took God 5 years to show me how He'd worked things out. It may take ages for you to put pieces together. He might not even show you while you're in this life- maybe He'll show you when we're up 'there'- 'chillin' with Jesus.' I still question many things that happen- like what happened to Miguel and Geovany's sister. It's hard for me to see what good can come out of that situation for that family. But believing in God is not based on anything 'rational', it's based on having faith- 'Faith is the assurance of things HOPED for; the conviction of things unseen' (Hebrews 11:1)- and I have FAITH. Faith that everything that happens 'happens for a reason'. With every mollecule that makes up my insides and outsides, I believe that God is going to bring sunshine after every storm. How can one expect to see the grace and glory of God if he doesn't fully believe that it's there? How can people expect to have their prayers answered when they don't have faith in the power of God in the first place?
That's my unfathomable question, really.
"He will wipe every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall their be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away." Revalation 21:4
Peace and Love,
Crissi
Friday, November 19, 2010
'All the women who independent...throw your hands up at me.'
So, the other day I was walking down the street and a random grabbed my butt. Yup. Right in the middle of the main strip of Santo Domingo. I was just chilling with my ipod and some dirty middle-aged man snuck up behind me, groped my ass and kept on walking. I was so shocked that I couldn't think of anything else to do except laugh, (wouldn't be like me not to laugh at the most inappropriate of moments, would it?) until I felt a massive wave of rage boiling up inside of me. I just wanted to chase the idiot down the street and grab his ass back to see how violated he felt. What an idiot.
After this ridiculous event, I decided that I should probably get a new walk. You know, something a little more intimidating and a little less 'inoccent-little-white-girl'. Hence, I have started walking around with my shoulders slightly tensed back and my fists clenched a little. At least judging by the way I walk, people might think that I'm one of those tough butch chicks.. Little will anyone know that I cannot throw a punch to save my life, and even if I were forced to in order to defend myself, I would probably apologise immediately afterwards...
Now, those of you who know me well know that there isn't much that I am afraid of. However, I have a confession to make- living her in Ecuador makes me a little weary of my safety ('Hallelujiah- she admits that there is danger in the world!'). Coming from someone who used to take the dog for walks at 1am around the streets of Rome, it takes a lot for me to be scared of walking around alone. However, I have been told here- 'DO NOT walk alone after 6pm.'- hence, I have said good-bye to long relaxing walks at night and hello to banging my head against one of the the four walls of my bedroom after dinnertime.
I say all this to say that the re-occuring theme for me this week has been the issue on equality for women. I have come to learn that sadly women do not have many rights and tend to be fairly objectified here in Ecuador. Yes, some of them will dress a little promiscuously, which probably doesn't help the situation, however, that is no free ticket for men to harass them daily. I mean, a girl walking around Melbourne in a short skirt might get a whistle or two, however here she will get winks from 95% of men that pass her, as well as foul comments and possible groping. If I of all the women walking around can encounter such an incident, imagine the hell the pretty girls must go through? It's proving to be quite challenging for me- it's very very frustrating to be stared at and commented on so frequently. Some days it gets to the point where I don't even want to leave the house because I don't know if I'll be able to control my anger. I've stopped brushing my hair and putting on make-up in attempt to stop the wolf-whistling, but it's not really of much use. Even if I were wearing a garbage bag some dirty man would still have something to say about it. Ah well, it's all a part of the experience and it's just another challenge that God has set before me. Sometimes we have no choice but to endure the things that He throws at us- '...we rejoice in our sufferings knowing that suffering produces endurance...' (Romans 5:3).
Next week I will be starting to work once a week with people that live in a really poor community here in Santo Domingo. It's called Laura Flores. I'm going to rock up with my guitar in the hope of delivering a little happiness and hope to it's residents- music does a good job of that. In doing a mini-investigation on the place, I learned that most of the women that live there can have up to 15 children. How crazy is that? They barely have enough money to survive, but they keep popping them out! I imagine that majority of these cases arise from the fact that they have irresponisble husbands who just want to get their freak on and are too lazy (or poor) to be responsible about it. Solution? My first guess was an operation to stop them from getting pregnant. Well- nope, sorry, think again because I have absolutely ludicrous news for you- according to the law, women need an authorisation signature from their husbands to get a tubal ligation at a public hospital. Of course, none of their husbands will agree to such a thing because they simply just don't care, and further, none of them can afford private health care to get it done privately and without having to 'ask for permission'. There goes that idea. How ridiculous. Things like this really make me thankful to be born into the society that repects women and stands for women's rights. They also make me frustrated that I cannot squeeze all the females in the world who haven't been as lucky into a big boat and take them to a place where they can come to know their worth. (Note to self: teach the women at Laura Flores an acoustic rendition of 'Independent Women.')
So these have been my thoughts this week homies. Overall, life is going great here in Santo Domingo. I am rapidly growing attached to the kids from OrphAids, who I visit once a week to play games with. They are so beautiful- I am already dreading leaving them. There is something about being around those children that gives me so much life. Either that, or it's the fact that I get to run around acting like a 10year-old and have a valid excuse....
Love and miss you all,
Love Crissi
After this ridiculous event, I decided that I should probably get a new walk. You know, something a little more intimidating and a little less 'inoccent-little-white-girl'. Hence, I have started walking around with my shoulders slightly tensed back and my fists clenched a little. At least judging by the way I walk, people might think that I'm one of those tough butch chicks.. Little will anyone know that I cannot throw a punch to save my life, and even if I were forced to in order to defend myself, I would probably apologise immediately afterwards...
Now, those of you who know me well know that there isn't much that I am afraid of. However, I have a confession to make- living her in Ecuador makes me a little weary of my safety ('Hallelujiah- she admits that there is danger in the world!'). Coming from someone who used to take the dog for walks at 1am around the streets of Rome, it takes a lot for me to be scared of walking around alone. However, I have been told here- 'DO NOT walk alone after 6pm.'- hence, I have said good-bye to long relaxing walks at night and hello to banging my head against one of the the four walls of my bedroom after dinnertime.
I say all this to say that the re-occuring theme for me this week has been the issue on equality for women. I have come to learn that sadly women do not have many rights and tend to be fairly objectified here in Ecuador. Yes, some of them will dress a little promiscuously, which probably doesn't help the situation, however, that is no free ticket for men to harass them daily. I mean, a girl walking around Melbourne in a short skirt might get a whistle or two, however here she will get winks from 95% of men that pass her, as well as foul comments and possible groping. If I of all the women walking around can encounter such an incident, imagine the hell the pretty girls must go through? It's proving to be quite challenging for me- it's very very frustrating to be stared at and commented on so frequently. Some days it gets to the point where I don't even want to leave the house because I don't know if I'll be able to control my anger. I've stopped brushing my hair and putting on make-up in attempt to stop the wolf-whistling, but it's not really of much use. Even if I were wearing a garbage bag some dirty man would still have something to say about it. Ah well, it's all a part of the experience and it's just another challenge that God has set before me. Sometimes we have no choice but to endure the things that He throws at us- '...we rejoice in our sufferings knowing that suffering produces endurance...' (Romans 5:3).
Next week I will be starting to work once a week with people that live in a really poor community here in Santo Domingo. It's called Laura Flores. I'm going to rock up with my guitar in the hope of delivering a little happiness and hope to it's residents- music does a good job of that. In doing a mini-investigation on the place, I learned that most of the women that live there can have up to 15 children. How crazy is that? They barely have enough money to survive, but they keep popping them out! I imagine that majority of these cases arise from the fact that they have irresponisble husbands who just want to get their freak on and are too lazy (or poor) to be responsible about it. Solution? My first guess was an operation to stop them from getting pregnant. Well- nope, sorry, think again because I have absolutely ludicrous news for you- according to the law, women need an authorisation signature from their husbands to get a tubal ligation at a public hospital. Of course, none of their husbands will agree to such a thing because they simply just don't care, and further, none of them can afford private health care to get it done privately and without having to 'ask for permission'. There goes that idea. How ridiculous. Things like this really make me thankful to be born into the society that repects women and stands for women's rights. They also make me frustrated that I cannot squeeze all the females in the world who haven't been as lucky into a big boat and take them to a place where they can come to know their worth. (Note to self: teach the women at Laura Flores an acoustic rendition of 'Independent Women.')
So these have been my thoughts this week homies. Overall, life is going great here in Santo Domingo. I am rapidly growing attached to the kids from OrphAids, who I visit once a week to play games with. They are so beautiful- I am already dreading leaving them. There is something about being around those children that gives me so much life. Either that, or it's the fact that I get to run around acting like a 10year-old and have a valid excuse....
Love and miss you all,
Love Crissi
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