Thursday, September 15, 2011

You are here.

...'on a moat of dust suspended on a sunbeam'. What?
Carl Sagan was an American astrologer/scientist (cheers, Google). I'm assuming he wasnt a Believer, but that's not the point- the point is that he was right. That's what we are. A tiny speck, floating in the universe.

Many people in my life have a problem with submitting to a Higher Power. They can't grasp the concept of God, because they don't want to admit that something bigger than themselves is controlling them. They want to be 'Lord's' of thier own lives; they want to be the ones with the power. I once understood that thought process, but now it's just so obvious to me- if I can't even control what is going to happen tomorrow, how can I pretend that I'm in charge of my own life? Things happen, every minute, that are completely and utterly beyond us. Many events that occur in my life prove to me that I can't control it. I can't even control what's going to happen in the next 30 seconds. You can't wake up in the morning and ordain everything that's going to happen in your day. People who attempt suicide can't even control their own deaths- some of them jump off bridges and still don't die.  So who are we to claim authority?
Every so often, I wonder about the future. Shocking, I know, coming from the girl who cant even anticipiate where she's going to be in 2 weeks. However I cant help wonder where I'll be in 10 years, and I'm sure I'm not the only one. What will I be doing and how will I get there? Will I still be floating from one corner of the world to the next? Man, I hope so. However, no matter how much I brain-storm and fantasise, the point is this one- I have no control.
Okay, side-spiel, objecitvely speaking: I do have some control, based on the day-to-day desicions that I make. My hope as a Believer is that by staying constant in prayer, I will make my desicions based on what I feel God is leading me to do. God blessed us with the freedom to make our own choices, which is a nice thought, cos if He hadn't of, then we would all be His robots. He graciously gave us power to make choices...but that's still not the point. The point is that He, being all-knowing, already knows what decisions I'm going to make...and I'm so thankful. Imagine if I had the power to plan out my own future? I would be so screwed. How many times have I almost decided to do something, and after not having done it have said, 'I'm glad I didn't do that..' If God gave me authority over my own life this moment, I guarantee that I would not even make it past the next hour. I would totally eff it up. Why? Because I am completely and utterly lost and broken and selfish...and I would screw myself over giving into the desires of my flesh, rather than the desires that God has for me...and the desires that He has for me are no less than perfect.

The last words that Jesus spoke upon the cross were 'It is finished'...then he bowed his head and gave up his spirit..(John 19:30). Jesus called his own death. He acutally said- 'That's it' and then He died. Jesus was God. Remind me who's in control again?

Looking at Carl Sagan's picture reminds me of the power our Creator has, and how small we are in the immensity of His universe. We are dots that appear for second. Let's say you live for, I dunno, 80 years. That's a long time to think about...but what about when you measure it up with the overall span of time? We're in the year 2011. That's TWO THOUSAND AND ELEVEN years (which isn't even starting from the beginning of time, ps)...and you're alive for 80. Not long huh? At least make it worth it. Don't waste time worrying about what's going to happen; live in the moment. Live for what's now, cos guess what? You can't control tomorrow...or the next day...or the next day... so why bother trying to? Sure, I don't have many things that society labels as 'successful', such as a degree, or property, or fancy cars and such. Sometimes the lack of 'stability' in my life freaks me out...but faith pulls me right back. I have faith in His driving skills, and I know that He's the best Driver out there. I don't really care if that means that He might drive me to scrape plates, dive in bins or live in a park. If it's in His plan it's going to be good, whatever it is, so I try not to be anxious about what the future holds. I don't know if I'm going to be here or there, or anywhere...but I know that I'm here NOW...and that's what matters.

Look again at that are smaller than it. Don't waste now, tiny molecule.

"...yet you do not know what tomorrow may bring. What is you life? For you are a midst that appears for a little time and then it vanishes." James 4:14

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